Friday thought it was time

I know it’s been a while. No, I’m not going to skirt that issue this time. If you look, I think it’s been like since October since I last posted (no, I didn’t look before I posted; however, I think I can remember my own blogging correctly). And I’m not going to lie here and tell you how much I missed it…And don’t lie to me and tell me you missed it. But, “je ne regrette rien”—I’m not sorry for anything (which I just posted to my Facebook as my new personal slogan for 2012).

Before I start to sound bitter because I don’t have an audience (because I’m sure that’s not the way to get one), I will tell you that I’ve been dedicating my time to other deeds. No, I’m not going to elaborate what that means; however, I will tell you that those endeavors do not include sex with men. Well, up until the end of 2011—and that brief, unfortunate rendezvous I had after 8in of fun told me he got caught by his wife—I had not had sex.

No, I didn’t really miss it. That being said, I didn’t really miss it until I had it again; and now, after two different men in the past week—or so—I’m back to craving it like a zombie craves human brains. Maybe that’s a little inaccurate—I’m not being as mindless as I would imagine that a zombie is; however, it’s the best analogy I could come up with as I typed. Yes, I realize that there’s an editing process where—if employed—I could have all the time in the world to come up with something more dynamic; however, that’s just not how I roll.

Now, we all know I’m not very good at resisting the urge to have sex for validation—how many years have I been blogging? That’s not the point. The point is what’s new for 2012 is that I only want to have sex with one man—well, I suppose, I should say that I want to have sex with one of two men. This is not a sign of the apocalypse…this is…Well, I’m not sure what it is…I was going to say it is the “wisdom that comes with age”; but that’s about as accurate as the whole zombie issue earlier…

Bachelor #1—only number one because he was the first in this timeline—is some sort of social worker. He had a nice home on the north side of Springfield. We bonded over a shared love of obsessive fascination with knowledge of Battlestar Galactica. What? It was all his idea to put on the soundtrack from all 4 seasons while we messed around—don’t look at me like that. He’s in his early 30’s and a nice guy, however, self-described as shy—which he is… (leading me to call him Mr. Shy…wait, I’m going to throw a Battlestar reference out here and call him “the Fraker”) He doesn’t text me; but he will return my messages within a somewhat suitable period of time.

Now, I need to tell you that I haven’t texted him since I met Bachelor #2.

Bachelor #2 was the last guy of 2011 and the first guy of 2012. Yes, I spent New Year’s Eve with him. Yes, that means that we went out on a date for New Year’s Eve, I spent the night with him, and we continued to hang out until Sunday evening. He’s also a nice guy. I like his build and personality a little better than the Fraker; however, he is a bit shorter. But before I let this turn into a comparison chart, I should tell you that this guy is in the Missouri National Guard (which means that I like his hair cut), is currently studying to be a massage therapist, and is just a year younger than me.

Now, we’ll compare. After a few drinks, the Fraker did not disappoint in the bedroom department; and having said that, neither did National Guard, but it seems that we like to play the same position on the field—however, we made do with our individual talents. Also, National Guard seems like he’d be up for just about anything—which is always fun because variety is the spice of life. Yes, National Guard is the clear winner in this debate (Ha!); however, for reasons I haven’t mentioned (like he’s kind of awkward to talk to on the phone; and since I told him I’m unemployed, I think he’s lost interest in me) I’m not going to completely rule out the Fraker.

*Update*

I just texted National Guard and pathetically asked, “When do I get to see you again.”

His response: “Tomorrow? But I need time to study.”

My response: “I thought your test was tomorrow.”

And I’m awaiting his response to that.

Hmmm. I suppose what I have to say next sort of hinges on that response. Anyway, the Fraker and I had a great time; and I think we actually have more in common—plus, I lied and told him that I still had a job. I know lying is deceptive—but it’s not really any of his business. I mean—it’s not like I’m asking him to support me.

So, upon waiting like 5 minutes and typing the above paragraph, I still didn’t receive a response; so I uncertainly texted, “Well, at any rate, I’m happy to help you study ;)”

Yes, I feel dirty for that text emoticon—a winking smiley reeks of desperation; however, he is a massage student… I’m sure “studying” for a test would involve him putting his hands on me at some point. What’s so wrong with that? I know—I can’t even type what’s wrong with that…

Fyi: National Guard isn’t very good at quick responses—even when we’re involved in a back-and-forth conversation; so, I have no response as of the publication of this blog. Yes, I’m aware that I could hold off on publishing until I receive one; however, I feel that waiting would cast me in an even more pathetic light that I already have.

No, I doubt I’ll get around to posting his reply—should he reply at some point in the near future; je ne regrette rien!

Even after googling “je ne regrette rien” and finding out that it actually means, “I regret nothing” according to a translation site—while wiki still says it means, “No, I’m not sorry for anything” (I know I’m just stalling and splitting hairs there)…What? Oh yeah, even after all that, I still haven’t gotten anything…like a time, a place, or even a confirmation that his test is tomorrow like he said it was earlier in the week…

I’m going to be strong, though. There will be no repeat of the “K…WTF…35 missed calls from you? I woke up to find that” in National Guard’s future. But the longer I wait, the more I want to keep texting…then you know I’m going to call…then you know that’s not going to be good. Now, I’m going to say something that I’ve probably never said before, Pray for me, ya’ll…pray for me.

Friday thought it was time