Wednesday is happy things are back to normal…

File this one under “Stuff you never wanted to know”… Websites are finicky creatures (at least mine is). Inexplicably, TheGrandChahee.com went down Monday night (I’m not sure as to when exactly because no one told me—side eye to my “super fans”). Hopefully, you’re all happy (grateful) the website came back up (I know I am)…

No, I don’t know what happened; and I’m not quite sure how it got fixed (I did a whole lot of nerdy computer crap involving “CNAME records” and “DNS settings” with my “Domain host”—I have absolutely no idea what those are, but I can follow instructions well). I just hope it never happens again…

Seriously, you don’t know how much you miss something until it’s gone (no this is not an analogy for a man).

So, that’s that! In my panic (yes, I almost lost my cool), I may have told people that didn’t know before that I have a blog. It’s not really a super-secret thing…I just enjoy my privacy. Hell, maybe I’ll actually get readers that will email me when the site goes down (seriously, I think it happened in the middle of the night…and there are like only 2 of you out there anyway that read regularly enough to even notice).

Now, I can get back to men (yeah, right)…

Tuesday is down

And not in a good way. I hate nerdy computer crap; however, I've been steeped in it for a few days now. TheGrandChahee.com is down for some reason (still as unknown to me), and I'm not sure what to do to get it back going. I've got some online resources that I'm trying; however, I'm not that confident in my own abilities...

Stay Tuned!

Tuesday keeps attracting the wrong men…

“Men”…is the operative word there…as in more than one at a time. I may or may not have an “appointment” (yes, I’m back to using that word again, too). I’ve been chatting with a couple from Lebanon—one older and one slightly younger (a just too familiar combination of men). It would seem that they’re interested in a meeting (their interest may have peaked by a webcam show).

I’m not quite sure what I quite expect (to get laid in a non-boring fashion). I’m not quite sure what they expect (there was something about a sandwich arrangement if I remember correctly). And I’m not quite sure why I keep attracting couples (and couples interested in adding a third). I guess I’m just non-threatening…

Sunday got a call

Let me set the scene: It’s Sunday morning—currently 3:26 AM—I’m still awake watching X-Files (I know how pathetic that sounds, probably not as pathetic as the fact that I own all 9 seasons plus both movies—I believe the truth is out there). But it’s whatever…I had a great day with C(B)C. We went to see Alice in Wonderland and then we went shopping (I got another pair of Toms shoes—One for one).

So I get this call at 3:26 AM from CB2. My heart stops momentarily. I don’t tell her this, but I’m worried as I say “Hello”—even more worried because she doesn’t immediately say “Hey” back. Now, it’s not in my nature to be mysterious; however, I’m not going to tell you why I’m worried…and I’m not going to tell you why I’m not going to tell you. But it does have something to do with the last call I got from CB2 at 3 in the morning.

I hear her voice eventually, and she’s drunk (which doesn’t exactly do much to improve my worry). But she’s drunk and at Sully’s house, so I take it she’s ok. [Omitted]

Editor’s Note I know they both read this, so I apologize ahead of time for any misconceptions. I have removed a significant portion of this post for reasons in regards to this. This is not a censure. Well, we all know it is.

But it’s a much needed censure because I don’t want to go running off at the keyboard and type what I really want to type (which includes the renaming Sully*don’t worry Sull, it wasn’t that bad). And there I go doing it again even with this Editor’s note.]

[Omitted]

Apparently she and SullyCharm Attack have been “fighting”. Now, she doesn’t say implicitly what they’re “fighting” about; however, from what she is saying I can infer that it has something to do with the number of guy friends she has (she rambled something to that effect anyway).

I don’t know why she would be debating… I mean he’s lucky to have her. I try to keep this to myself (obviously, not very well); however, she’s honest and doesn’t play games with people’s emotions (yes, I know what’s going on). He’s lucky to have her (the grass isn’t always greener on the other side).

I hope he’s at least good in bed. I mean he’s a damn waste of space if he isn’t.

After she tells me that she holds me in high regards (I’m one step from Bestest Best Friend forever)…

She tells me that she’s going to try to get laid, but she’s not that hopeful.

[Omitted]She insists I call her later today to set up a “quilting bee”. God, I love CB2; even when she’s drunk, she still has high hopes.

I just finished (during some of my omissions) D(W)F’s reference letter. It's a little gem to be sure. I actually got something accomplished...which is pretty good considering it's now 6:23 AM; I'm betting that I'm going to be sleeping in.

Friday really needs to think about something else.

I don’t know why I’m going to admit this… I probably shouldn’t tell you or anyone. I should just keep this to myself and take it to the grave. TW is single now. I did not inquire…Facebook alerted me to his new relationship status.

I haven’t really talked to him in a while (I think the last time I did I had just started seeing Mr. Make Out) because (and not to sound mean or anything) I haven’t really wanted to. He messaged me the other day to ask about someone I know from work. I never got a reason mostly because I didn’t ask, but it did kinda strike me as odd.

Now, this is the part I don’t want to admit. I think I stopped talking to him because he got a girlfriend. Go ahead give me a side eye (I deserve it). But what’s even funnier is that I think he got a girlfriend because I stopped hanging out with him (now, I realize both of those can’t be true). I just remember (oddly enough it’s quite vivid) I got a call from TW while I was at a bar with MrMO—TW wanted me to meet his new lady friend…I didn’t want to introduce TW to MrMO…or was it that I didn’t want to meet his new lady friend?

The memory gets fuzzy when I try to remember which it was or why. I can’t remember if I didn’t want TW to meet MrMO because MrMO wasn’t worthy (or a raging alcoholic—which ever fits). Or if I didn’t want to meet his new lady friend because I knew she was a skank (because I was jealous).

It’s odd, to say the least. I haven’t really been that interested in TW (meaning I haven’t been Facebook Stalking him) since we stopped talking; however, now that I know he’s single, I sort of want to look him up. Am I trying to swoop in while he’s on the rebound? Or just wanting to reconnect with an old friend?

I know.
I know.

It’s an enigma wrapped in a riddle (oh, I deserve that side eye, too—probably more than the first one).

Friday realizes that I should be doing something else

Yes, D(W)F, don’t be mad at me…I know I should be working on your professional letter of reference. However, I don’t quite know how to start. It’s not that I can’t come up with enough good things to say about you…it’s that I can’t find a relevant way to say them. I mean after you’ve known someone for over 7 years (that’s an estimate based off of some loose math), it’s not that hard to come up with stuff to say—it’s saying it professionally.

I don’t think it’s very professional to say that among my friends you’re the only planner. I want to use your wedding as an example of said planning abilities (it was uncanny the way it went off with out a hitch—and the way every little detail was accounted for). It’s also a great example of your drive and determination toward a goal; however, it’s not really suited for what I think I’m supposed to type.

A glaring example of your responsible nature would be the time in St. Louis where you made sure that I didn’t die or run off with a stranger, or let some douche bag take a picture of me hanging out of SM’s car—but I think it could be lost on a review board. And I don’t think I can validly explain how you’re the Voice of Reason. Also, it’s probably not necessarily appropriate to tout our porn store experiences as an example of your openness to explore new ideas (that time in Tulsa was a noteworthy incident), or to argue the fact that you have yet to kill your husband as an illustration of your adaptability to change.

You’re definitely apt to make a decision… hell, you’re usually the one that can make them. However, talking about those times when you have to order for me off of a menu or when you have to decide for SM, AC, and I about where we’re going to go out, probably wouldn’t lend a lot of validity to a reference. But it definitely speaks for your ability to work in a team environment. As well as, you’re leadership skills.

So, if you ever have a new friend that needs such a letter (and I know that’s about as preposterous as it sounds), feel free to refer them to this post… Yes, I realize that it’s kinda funny how being a great friend also lends itself to being a great employee/graduate student. And don’t fret, I’ll get it. I just gotta find my chi—my professional reference center—and then I’ll be golden.

Wednesday isn’t anything special

Ok. Did I tell you I hate having my family as “friends” on Facebook? It’s super annoying. It’s not super annoying because I worry that I might say something that will set them off—I don’t give a shit what they think (no they haven’t discovered this little gem yet). It’s annoying because they comment on my status messages and suggest stupid pages (my cousin’s “photography” page is on constant suggestion mode—it’s awful).

Oh well.

I didn’t go to work today. Don’t look at me like that. I took the day off…it’s not like I called in. Well, I took Monday off so I’d have a three day weekend. It was wonderful despite my not getting laid. I ended up not feeling so hot. I worked Tuesday—still not feeling so hot; so I took today off to recuperate.

I feel a little better. I’ve been pumping myself full of cold medicine and a pomegranate/blueberry juice and diet sprite mixture (it’s quite tasty), and I feel a little better. Oh and I ate a lot of stuff today (you know that old adage: feed a cold, starve a fever). I actually had breakfast, lunch, and dinner (plus snacks along the way). I’m still a little run down, my nose won’t stop running, and my left eye keeps tearing up (sinuses suck ass); however, I feel a little better.

I will have you know that I did not spend the day online looking for a hookup (however, I think the endorphins produced with sexual activity would be just the ticket to cure my cold)—I haven’t even logged into that chat thing to even see if I have any messages (the guy from Kansas City thinks I’m going to come up there this weekend for his birthday; seriously, I don’t know why he still tries). And I didn’t stay all filmy dressed in my pajamas looking up porn either (again, I think the endorphins produced with masturbatory activity would cure my cold).

I actually showered, shaved (the beard is still in tact—I just shaved the cheeks and neck), gave myself a facial, properly moisturized, and started cutting out more squares for my quilt (yes, that wasn’t just something that you read incorrectly that one day—it’s an actual ambition of mine). And on that subject, the idea of cutting up old clothes is genius—I’ve gotten a lot of good squares out of just the one shirt I’ve been working on. It’s very promising (and I’ve found several others that will be chopped up as well).

But I really have nothing to report (which was blatantly obvious based on what I just typed). I just decided that typing something is better than typing nothing. Or is it?

Monday is the last post on the subject…

That Guy has gone off to join the countless others (all losers btw…take my word for it) on the island of lost (looser-douche bag-vagina) men. I mean it wasn’t really meant to be…I mean if we were MFEO (made for each other—damn you people…watch Sleepless in Seattle) I’m sure I’d come up with a better name for him than That Guy.

Yes, I’ll admit that he’s still on my pal list (and online at the moment); however, I will not message him again (I may have gotten a little pathetic over the past few messages—to no avail, he still hasn’t messaged me).

I was (up until I picked up the computer—which wasn’t to blog, btw…I got sidetracked on my way to my zen place…if you know what I mean) starting my quilt. This new hobby has 2 purposes (other than getting my mind off of all the men I scare away—see I call the guy a vagina, yet I still blame myself). First, I’m using up my old clothes to make it (I thought it would add a really personal touch plus it’s free). And number 2, hopefully I can stop buying bedding (I don’t know if that’s the for real #2…sometimes I type things and then get sidetracked and forget them—time for that zen place…I’ll be more centered when I get back).

Not yet, I’m still smoking. But when I get back to my room, I’m going to stop typing. But since this is all going to be one post, it’s all the same to you (see what I mean about getting sidetracked—he’s still online, btw I’ve been switching between this and that this whole time…I’ve still got nothing…the force is definitely not with me).

So, I’m quilting. I just spent most of the evening seam ripping apart one of my shirts (it’s a really pretty blue button down from the Gap with blue/green butterflies all over it—it’s not as gay as it sounds, I promise). I found seam ripping to be quite a calming experience (is that as gay as that sounded? Who the fuck cares? Out and proud! Out and proud!). Next, I’m going to start on this linen-type short sleeved number (purchased from Express a million years ago); I couldn’t seam rip it; however, I’m going to get a lot of joy from cutting it up I assure you (I hate Express).

And then I’ve got an old Abercrombie number after that. And rest assured all those pearl snap floral shirts are biting the big one as well. I’m just a little unsure how they’re all going to go together; however, I’m sure the creative process will lend itself to the proper combination.

Ok, now for my zen moment. Ha! He logged off. God, I’m glad I didn’t add him on Facebook (I almost logged off just after I realized he logged off…that would be stalker-like, so I'm still logged in). My zen moment was good tonight, btw. It and that PB&J sandwich totally refocused me.

Really there’s nothing more to report about this weekend. Oh, yeah. I went to mass with D(W)F again. I don’t mind church. We went to a new chapel this weekend (we went to D(W)F’s “regular” church). I liked the priest a little better (he’s this little short Irish man), and he was totally on the service (it went very smoothly too).

So I can’t figure out why I keep going. Again, I don’t mind. Yes, I know I like hanging out with D(W)F; however, we used to do that after she went to church. Maybe, this is going back to the whole topic of I don’t understand why anyone goes to church.

Eh, I went; I went twice. And I’ll probably go again (however, not next weekend, C(B1)C has already reserved me to watch Alice in Wonderland—that’s an open invitation, btw...yes, that’s not just to D(W)F…but to all!). C’est la vie.

I hope you’re all very proud of me…I logged out of chat with out a desperate plea for attention (yes, I’m typing this right now, but I do this one all the time).

Sunday isn’t about to let this get turned around…

So That Guy comes back online (after I deleted him from my pals list). I can spot rejection a mile away (believe it or not); however, I like to know why I’m being rejected. I message him and say, “No, go, eh?”… to have him reply, “You never texted me.”

Sure. Except I did. I message him back. He changed his number (yet another reason he should have just texted me). I’m still waiting back for a reply to my “that’s hot.” I sent him last (ok, I got a reply...it was somewhat generic; however, I can assure you it wasn't his new number).

I should have just started that damn quilt.

Sunday is just wasting my time

You know what I hate the most about a lot of gay men? They waste your time. The last time I talked to That Guy, he basically told me that if I asked him out he’d go. Well, so I’ve been asking him to do something/hang out/ go to a movie, and I’ve got nothing. What’s worse is that when I ask him to do something, he just disappears online...he doesn’t respond.

He’s blamed that on his dial-up internet before; however, I think it’s just because he’s a time wasting flake. There’s nothing I find more irritating than a time waster. If the answer’s no, just say no. If you’re not really interested, don’t keep responding and leading me on…just say, “Not Interested”. I can take it.

I know I’m not the best at making a decision; however, I’m not a time waster about it. When it comes down to crunch time, I don’t waste time. It’s a yeah, or a neah.

Oh, and he was still online, just ignoring my replies. I know my messenger is working because I’ve been getting messages from this other guy (in Florida—yes, another time waster; but at least the time wasting is obvious).

And maybe it is obvious with That Guy, too… maybe it’s painfully obvious. And maybe I’m just bored with nothing better to do than obsess over some guy.